Teenage Brain and Development
When children enter adolescence, we can see the effect it has on their bodies - but not on their brains. This section will explore how these changes to the brain - which have been shaped by man's long evolutionary history - can affect behaviour in ways that cause conflict, with a particular look at anxiety and anger.
Teenage Brain and Development
After completing this section, you will be able to: name the parts of the brain that are responsible for changes in behaviour during teenage years; how the roots of present-day conflict have a deep, evolutionary history; how stress reduces our ability to keep out of conflict; and how anger works.
- Getting to Know Your Teenager’s Brain
- What are Emotions?
- Primary and Secondary Emotions
- The Window of Tolerance
- The Anger Cycle
Getting to Know Your Teenager's Brain
A parent or carer who understands a little about the changes a teenager’s brain undergoes during adolescence is better able to understand why their son or daughter might kick off, how to avoid triggering them, and what to do when their behaviour threatens to create conflict within the family.
Let’s start by looking at the brain.
The brain is the most complex organ in the body and controls our thoughts, memory, emotion, behaviours and all the processes that regulate our body.
Click on the names of parts of the brain below to learn what they do and where to find them.
THE LIMBIC SYSTEM
ALSO KNOWN AS
Our old mammalian brain.
RESPONSIBLE FOR
Emotions and detecting danger.
WHAT DID IT DO FOR US IN THE DISTANT PAST?
With the help of the brainstem, fighting off or escaping predators.
HOW DO WE USE IT NOW?
With the help of the brainstem, making us alert when walking through a dodgy part of town.
BRAINSTEM
ALSO KNOWN AS
The reptilian brain.
RESPONSIBLE FOR
Controlling body processes (eating, sleeping, temperature, and more).
WHAT DID IT DO FOR US IN THE DISTANT PAST?
With the help of the limbic system, fighting off or escaping predators.
HOW DO WE USE IT NOW?
With the help of the limbic system, making us alert when walking through a dodgy part of town.
PREFRONTAL CORTEX
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ALSO KNOWN AS
The mammalian brain.
RESPONSIBLE FOR
Anything to do with thinking or problem-solving (we call this ‘cognitive function’).
WHAT DID IT DO FOR US IN THE DISTANT PAST?
Hunting together and then sharing food.
HOW DO WE USE IT NOW?
Working together to solve a puzzle.
Monkey Vs Lizard
The oldest part of the brain, our so-called Lizard Brain, is made up of the brainstem (or reptilian brain) and the limbic system (or old mammalian brain). The newest part of the brain, our Monkey Brain, is the prefrontal cortex (or new mammalian brain).
Our Monkey and Lizard brains usually work well together. The Lizard brain recognises emotions and possible danger. The Monkey Brain solves problems. Normally, the Monkey Brain is in charge. If we feel overwhelmed, though, the Lizard Brain can take over – and that’s when we go into survival mode.
When in survival mode, we react in one of two ways.
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For further information about Monkey and Lizard brains, how they work together and sometimes against each other, visit our Monkey Vs Lizard resource.
Evolution of Anxiety
Anxiety evolved as a survival mechanism, in order to keep us safe from danger, but in modern family dynamics, it can manifest as overprotectiveness, control, or avoidance. These anxious behaviours, once useful for detecting threats, may now contribute to misunderstandings and conflict between family members, especially when parenting or caring. Recognizing anxiety’s evolutionary roots can help families understand why they feel how they do, and start to think about finding ways of coping with overwhelming, difficult emotions
Brain Development
Brain development can affect the connection between Monkey and Lizard brains, which is key to how we react when we’re in conflict. Watch the video to learn about a few things that affect brain development.
Brain Chemicals
Your brain can produce chemicals that can change your mood. Some can make you happy, some help you defend yourself. This video shows what each of the chemicals in your brain can do.
Typical Teenage Behaviours
Many of the behaviours typical of teenage years that upset parents and carers are in fact utterly typical and happening within families across the land. Not only that, but they’ve also taken place in families ever since families have existed. It’s not unusual for parents and carers to object to behaviour they don't approve of or believe are damaging. It's worth pausing for a moment, thinking back to our teenage years and asking of ourselves if we did things back then that are similar to what we object to now.
This section below shows a range of typical teenage behaviours, how changes in the teenage brain are driving the behaviours, and what parents and carers can do about them. It’s important for parents and carers to remember that while they might not enjoy some aspects of their young person’s behaviour, that behaviour is necessary to their development as a young adult.
Staying up late and sleeping in
What’s going on inside the brain?
Melatonin, a hormone that regulates the body’s sleep cycle, is produced in response to darkness. In teenagers, melatonin is produced later in the day compared to adults and children.
How does that affect teenagers?
Teenagers often fall asleep much later and find it difficult to get up in the morning.
Pros
Going to bed later and sleeping in longer the next day are healthy for young people.
Cons
It’s easy for parents to misinterpret this behaviour for laziness.
What can parents or carers do?
Be understanding and don't make your young person feel bad because they slept longer than you prefer.
Mood swings
What’s going on inside the brain?
The amygdala, a part of the brain that detects emotions, is more active during adolescence.
How does that affect teenagers?
Because the 'thinking' brain isn't developed, teenagers rely on their 'emotion' brain, which reacts quickly without considering others’ perspectives.
Pros
Through experiencing strong emotions strongly, we find our passions.
Cons
It's hard to make clear, rational decisions as a teenager.
What can parents or carers do?
Check out Monkey vs Lizard on this website under the 'Brainy Stuff' tab.
Heightened emotional sensitivity
What’s going on inside the brain?
During adolescence, the brain can link emotions to things you say that were neutral.
How does that affect teenagers?
Teenagers might hear a simple question as a criticism and sense emotions such as disappointment that aren't there.
Pros
Not an advantage as such, but it is a rite of passage – for child as well as parents or carer.
Cons
Emotions can be overwhelming, and a teenager can feel upset and irritated more easily.
What can parents or carers do?
An adult may see a teenager’s response as overly emotional, when in fact the teenage brain just interprets information differently. Don't be provoked
Listening to peers more than parents and carers
What’s going on inside the brain?
Teenage brains are biologically programmed to seek independence as they grow into young adults.
How does that affect teenagers?
If a young person insists they’ll ‘just die’ if they don’t get to go to a party their friends are going to, it's a figure of speech, but it also speaks to an evolutionary truth that explains this intense feeling.
Pros
It is important to gain independence and life skills that help you cope as an adult
Cons
Seeking a sense of group belonging can lead to peer pressure and risk-taking behaviour.
What can parents or carers do?
Parents must balance 'letting go' with still providing advice and support.
Risk-taking
What’s going on inside the brain?
Dopamine, a neurochemical associated with pleasure, is lower in teenage brains. This leads to teenagers seeking new experiences, and the dopamine rush they feel during a thrilling experience is more intense in teenage brains than adult brains.
How does that affect teenagers?
Teenagers can feel irritable, restless and bored when dopamine levels are low.
Pros
Healthy risk-taking is an important part of developing independence and self-identity.
Cons
When the risk-taking becomes unhealthy, it can be dangerous.
What can parents or carers do?
Help teens to decide which risks are worth taking and which aren't.
What are Emotions?
Emotions are...
Emotions are complex psychological and bodily responses to internal or external events. They involve a mix of feelings, thoughts, bodily reactions (like increased heart rate), and behaviours (like facial expressions or actions). To sum it up, emotions are messages that help us understand how to respond to important situations – but only if we can recognise which emotions we’re feeling at crucial moments.
Recognising Emotions
Recognising and labelling the emotions we feel is an important early step in learning to regulate our emotions. It’s common for young people not to fully understand their emotions, and therefore struggle to label them and understand what's going on in their minds and bodies.
Young people can learn how to identify and name the emotions they are feeling by recognising how these emotions feel in our bodies and the behavioural responses they trigger. Once young people can identify and name the emotions they’re feeling, they can start to think about what causes them to feel that way, so that they can respond to them in a healthy way.
The table to the left provides examples of how different emotions might feel in the body. There can be wide variations in how emotions are experienced - everyone is different. You might also notice that similar sensations are felt across different emotions, e.g. a racing heart can signal anxiety, or it can signal excitement.
Learn to label the emotions you feel and support your child to label their emotions. If you do this repeatedly, they may learn to manage their emotions more easily. For example: ‘I had a really rubbish sleep last night; no wonder I’m feeling a bit more tired and irritable today.’
If you want further help with identifying emotions, The Feelings Wheel could be useful. Learn more here.
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Emotional States
Emotional states drive how we act and react. They are affected by the chemicals in our brain and our past experiences. We move through different emotional states throughout the day depending on the different chemicals in our brain. Emotional states are different to individual emotions. (e.g. we can be in a Fight or Flight state, but could be feeling fear, anger, or rejection emotions).
Communicating with Children
When families talk about emotions together, it boosts young people’s emotional development.
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Primary and Secondary Emotions
Learning about emotions can help us to understand what’s going on in our minds and bodies when we feel overwhelmed or distressed, and an increased understanding in this area can help us talk more easily about it. We’ve probably all heard that talking about distress is key, but many young people will struggle to put words to how they’re feeling. If we can understand what emotion we’re feeling, and then talk about it, it can be easier to figure out why we’re feeling that way, and then take steps to manage the difficult emotion.
Usually, anger is a secondary emotion. What does that mean?
When we feel emotions that make us uncomfortable, like sadness, shame or fear, we react not with these emotions but with anger. Where sadness, shame and fear leave us feeling vulnerable, anger feels more powerful than an underlying emotion like shame or sadness.
If you’re noticing your young person is angrier than usual, ask yourself – or your young person themselves – what’s going on beneath the surface? Hidden primary emotions could be driving anger. Digging a little bit deeper can lead to a better understanding of what’s going on in your child’s mind. It's important to remember, though, that young people may experience a variety of difficulties and anger isn't always a secondary emotion. Your young person could be angry as a result of disability or any number of factors.
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Emotional Iceberg
Sometimes we only see the secondary emotion and we must go back and figure out what our primary emotions were to understand how we are feeling. Like an iceberg, we can only see what’s on the surface but there is much more going on underneath.
The emotional iceberg worksheet can be used to help young people understand different kinds of emotions and what might be driving their anger. Download the worksheet here.
Window of Tolerance
Emotional Regulation
While there is no such thing as a bad emotion, emotions can become unhelpful if they overwhelm us. When we can cope with our emotions in a healthy way, we call this our ‘window of tolerance’ or the ‘green zone’ in the image below. If our emotions become too much and we are no longer able to cope, we move into our ‘red zone’ where we enter a fight or flight emotional state, feeling anxious, panicked, or overwhelmed. Alternatively, we might move out of our window of tolerance and into our ‘blue zone’, entering a ‘freeze or shut down’ emotional state. In this state we might start to feel nothing at all or feel numb and shut off from the world around us.
Our window of tolerance can grow and shrink depending on who we are with, what's going on in our life, our past experiences, and how much sleep we've had. On a good day, if someone shouts at us, we might feel able to cope with it easily. On a bad day, our window of tolerance might become narrowed, and we might find ourselves slipping into the red zone more easily. There are lots of things we can do to help young people regulate their emotions – and to help ourselves too, as parents and carers.
Understanding Anger
Anger is the typical emotion we associate with conflict.
We know that emotions come with automatic behavioural responses, but they also give us behaviour urges. For example, when we are angry, we might get the urge to hit someone, and when we are feeling love we might get the urge to hug someone. But we can choose whether to act on these urges.
Emotional Arousal Cycle
The Emotional Arousal Cycle, which you can see an image of below, shows a pattern that often happens when we become overwhelmed by anger. In the Crisis Phase, we struggle to control our behavioural urges. It is helpful to think about what our triggers are and how we can recognise our Escalation Phase to stop ourselves reaching the crisis point.
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Recognising Anger
Recognising anger in family conflicts allows people to deal with underlying emotions before they get bigger. By dealing with anger better, families can find answers that strengthen relationships rather than causing harm.
Anger Thermometer
Are you feeling angry right now? Want some help judging just how angry you are? Click on the link to download a worksheet on the ‘anger thermometer’.
For more on anger, check out our Keep The Heid resource.
Teenage Brain Development Summary
- During adolescence, teenage brains undergo incredible changes that affect behaviour. The reason for these changes is rooted in the evolutionary origins of mankind. Ingrained responses such as ‘fight or flight’ or ‘freeze and shutdown’ which helped early man survive still have a role to play today but can also lead to teenagers reacting in ways that adults find hard to understand.
- Emotional states drive how we act and react. They are affected by the chemicals in our brain and our past experiences.
- When families talk about emotions together, it boosts young people’s emotional development. Many young people, however, struggle to put words to how they’re feeling. If we can understand what emotion it is that we’re feeling, and then talk about it, it can be easier to figure out why we’re feeling that way, and then take steps to manage the difficult emotion.
- Anger is often what we call a secondary emotion, disguising the primary emotion behind it. Anger gives us an adrenaline rush, makes us feel powerful, and therefore, as a protective mechanism we might subconsciously pivot towards anger rather than a more vulnerable emotion.
- Recognising anger in family conflicts allows people to deal with underlying emotions before they get bigger. By dealing with anger better, families can find answers that strengthen relationships rather than causing harm.
It's not the end of the story!
If you want to learn more, choose one of the modules below.
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