I worry about them
Learning about responsibility is part of growing up. There are many ways to demonstrate responsibility across different areas of our lives. Families often argue about responsibility as they care about each other and worry about the future.
- Staying out late
- New friends
- Contributing to the house/family
- Going to school
- Staying on at school
- Skipping school
- Doing homework/study
- What to do next?
- Finding work
- Losing your job
- I feel frustrated
- I get really stressed out
- I worry all the time
- I feel anxious
- I get angry
- I’m worried about their future
What can I do to make things better?
What do you need?
Try to explain to the other person what you need and why rather than what the problem is. Example:
“You’re lazy, you do nothing around the house, you don’t look after your stuff. I can’t even give you the responsibility of your own room.”
“You’re growing up, I need you to be able to look after yourself.”
See it from their side
Try and see the situation from the other person’s shoes. Example:
“I’m sick of having to wake you up in the morning. Take some responsibility for getting yourself up for school.”
“You have always got me out of bed in the morning, I’ve never been allowed the responsibility of trying to do it myself.”
Ask questions and explain how you feel. Example:
“I’m really worried about your future. You don’t seem to be very motivated. What can I do to help you?”
Consider lots of options to solve the problem.
Parents and Carers often get into arguments with young people about responsibility because they care about them, love them and want them to do well. Be open and honest; tell them this.
Conflict Resolution and Mediation
After working through the steps above and considering your own situation, you may find it helpful to know more about conflict resolution and mediation.
If you get together and talk about it, I've often seen people come up with much better solutions themselves.Paul Burns, Mediator
We still have our arguments, but we deal with them a lot better now.Kerry, Sam's Mum